Week 8.

This week I have truly learned that there is opposition in all things. This week we had zone conference-where our mission president and his counselors train us. His wife, Sister Hanks, talked about how we cant compare ourselves to others. satan wants me to doubt, self criticize, and feel discouraged. but I am here on a mission serving my heavenly father. I am doing a hard thing.

 

This week I sensed myself getting stressed out.It was in the morning and I was trying to call all the people we wanted to see that but not one of them answered. I was getting stressed out b/c 3 members wanted to come out and teach with us and I want to give them an uplifting experience. I wanted to have appointments so we could be productive. so my poor companions noticed I was a little tense and instead of getting annoyed or ignoring me or talking bad about be behind my back, they just showed me love. in the kindest manner possible they just stopped me and said "breath. relax. everything will work out." it is amazing how well we already know, trust, and love each other only after meeting 6 week ago. I am so grateful that we can be open and honest, b/c communication is essential to every good relationship. i am learning to be better at this . i was able to enjoy their hugs and relax.

 

but later in the week i was getting frustrated with myself again. nothing seemed to be working out-nobody was answering their doors and all our appointments were falling through. i told my companions that i felt like a horrible missionary, and they reminded me that we had done all we could do. but i doubt myself and ask "did i really do everything i could? did we just not plan well enough?" idk and it stressed me out! i feel so much pressure to be perfect b/c i know im supposed to be here and i do not want to waste any time. i want so badly to do what is right.

 

being on a mission is basically just a mind game. it is a constant battle between good and evil. since i am 100% devoted to doing what HF wants me to do-bring his children happiness-satan is working extra hard on me. i get frustrated and sad. i try to do what is right and them something else bad happens. one day this week i just started laughing bc i could not believe all the frustration as to what was happening!

 

and that is why i am SO THANKFUL sister hanks talked about self doubt! her wisdom is priceless. she said that we need to stop comparing our weaknesses to other peoples strengths. we must understand that life is a process and a journey. we learn "line upon line, precept upon precept" (d & c 98:12) and we grow bit by bit. she recounted how her and prez love going on walks and admiring house being built. they have a funny fascination with houses that just have the framing done. they love looking at where the bedrooms will be, how the light will come in, etc. They appreciate the beauty they see and the solid foundation, dreaming about what a gorgeous home it will be one day. and that is exactly how they view us missionaries. we have sturdy foundations in christ with so much potential. we have amazing qualities and talents and personalities and backgrounds. but we are all learning. we are not going to be perfect right now. we are merely an instrument in gods hands. they see us as the houses- with so much potential. my 18 months out here in alabama is all bout PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION!

we need to be happy as we see growth in ourselves. she said "lengthen your stride, but don't split your crotch!"

 

oh how i love being a missionary. i am learning more about myself than i could in any other situation! i am learning to love instead of judging or getting annoyed. i am realizing how truly blessed i am. i am so humbled and thankful for all the emotions and experiences i am having.  there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for. focus on the positives and you will have peace of mind. i am so thankful for jesus Christ. he is the reason why i can overcome  my weaknesses. he loves me unconditionally and gives me strength to stand up every hour. i love his light, it illuminates my life.

 

on sunday i gave a talk in church on gratitude and blessings! afterwards a wonderful lady we are teaching said "geez!!! what are you on?!!! I need some of that happy juice!!" i am so humbled that heavenly father and jesus Christ can work through me. i am merely an instrument in their hands. i am the framework and they are slowly building me into a beautiful home. it isn't always easy, but neither is building a house. it takes time, effort, and hard work. nailing things together, pondering and planning what it will look like, setting goals and deadlines-all things i am doing out here in Alabama. i know heavenly father knows my heart and understands that i am trying my best. he will make up the rest. i love feeling their power every single day, the love and comfort is truly indescribable. i love being a missionary. i love i.t i love it. i love it!!!!

 

have a happy thanksgiving y'all!!! i will be eating a deep fried turkey down here! whoo hoo!

 

all my love,

sister madsen

 companions :) sister Jensen is leaving Wednesday :( sister haws and i will stay in Prattville!

 my home boy javaris-we danced and sang and had races outside. he can duggie and sprint like now other! gave me a run for my money! i was signing "our god is an awesome god!!!!!" at the top of my lungs. SO FUN!!!

 mamie!!! also-i got a haircut from a less active! :)

 went to the most red neck place EVER!!!! this is a real bear and i am holding a bow. they had tons of guns, confederate flags everywhere, were cooking up deer meet, huge huge HUGE muddy trucks, and camo upon camo. LOVE IT!

the elders are precious and tried really hard to make a creative sign but it was all black pen scribbles....so i helped  them out a bit hahah then we saw them as we were driving to an appointment! so FUN! they are the zone leaders and are truly inspiring and keep me laughing everyday!